Friday, 17 January 2014

Two Steps Forwards, One Step Back

Despite reporting that my iron tablets seem to be taking effect and the blood tests are showing some improvements I’m still suffering from “low days”.

It was pretty disheartening this week. Just as I felt I was making progress I stumble. I had a good week  last week in terms of exercise and I did make it to parkrun on Saturday. I was slow but I ran and I enjoyed it and felt as though I could get back to my previous best in a couple of weeks. Parkrun was followed by a dog walk and a 2 hour stomp through the forest with no ill-effect. Then after an hour long gym session on Monday and a bath I felt pretty dizzy. I drank some water, ate some dinner and sat down for a while; thought little of it. Tuesday was another story. I felt so tired all day, in both the sleepy and worn out sense. I cancelled my Group Kick class even though I was torn between wanting to go and try and push through and worrying that I’d push too far. I sat on the sofa and studied instead so as to feel I’d done something useful.

The rest of the week hasn't been so bad. I did some sun salutations on Wednesday, a dog walk and an hour in the gym on Thursday and I've just been out for a 3 mile run this evening.

I’ve gone back to marking these lows in my diary to see if I can make any sense of it. The thing I’m struggling with most is knowing whether these feelings of tiredness are real or just in the mind. It doesn’t feel like an illness so sometimes I wonder whether I’m just using it as an excuse not to train, even though I’m frustrated when I hold back, worried that I might do too much and annoyed that I won’t be able to make progress if I can’t push myself.

When people at work ask me if I’m ok I don’t feel I can answer honestly because they won’t understand. I mean, come on, if a colleague said to you “I’m feeling really tired” wouldn’t you most likely think they should get more sleep and that they shouldn’t let it affect their work? This last low isn’t as bad as some I’ve had before but it’s still horrible and writing about it is one of the ways I’m finding to deal with it. It feels pretty lonely.

I have a virtual 10k race (in aid of MAMA Academy, the chosen charity of the Run Mummy Run group) to do by the end of next week. When I signed up it didn't feel like much of a challenge but it does now. I think I'll pick a parkrun course and do it twice tomorrow afternoon just for ease. I won't be park running in the morning as I'm taking my godson to the cinema. That'll be quite lovely.

I'd really like to hear your tales of when you've suffered set backs and how you coped with them. The comment box is always open.

2 comments:

  1. It is always hard when you are suffering and things are not clear. You have to give your body time. You are a fit and healthy person, you don't need to be the strongest, toughest woman in UK!! I think that you need to relax, give yourself time to have fun. Our bodies are incredible and yours will bounce back.Try not to over analyse and get lots of rest and sleep. xx

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    1. Thanks hunny, really appreciate that x

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